American Dreams

Yolanda Limon is like many other college students. She has two jobs, takes a full load of courses, attends youth Bible study on Wednesday nights and likes to hang with her friends whenever she can. But at 21 years old, Yolanda has never been to a sleepover. She is not allowed to date and she has to be home no later than 11 at night

Yolanda Limon leads the youth group at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Bowling Green.

“I have to be home by 11 or 12 and I’m not even exaggerating,” Yolanda says. “And you know, it sucks, because outside from the Hispanic kids, nobody really understands.

Yolanda Limon works as a hostess at Pepper's Mexican Grill and Cantina in Bowling Green, Ky. In addition to her hostess duties, she also works in Greenwood Mall and is a student at Western Kentucky University.

Yolanda says that her friends are always wondering why she cannot stay out or spend the night with them. She tells them that there is no reason, except that it’s not commonly done in Mexico, where her parents were born. Yolanda’s family immigrated to Bowling Green when she was 7 years old.

“My parents don’t want to lose their roots and don’t want us to forget where we come from,” Yolanda says. “They tell me that this is how they were raised and that just because everyone around you can stay out as late as they want, does not mean that it is the same for you.”

Yolanda is one of thousands of young immigrants in the United States today who are trying to balance a life in this country while still remaining true to their culture. This process is a journey that is different for each person but can often be difficult.

Sometimes, Yolanda gets frustrated because she feels that her don’t trust her. She says her parents think that girls who stay out late are usually up to no good. This keeps her from meeting more people and being sociable.

Pretty soon, however, Yolanda will have to break another tradition. She was raised to believe that women leave their parent’s home only after they are married. But she wants to move away to law school after college.

“I want to become a lawyer to help immigrants become legalized and be able to come into the United States to make a better life,” Yolanda says.

While Yolanda mostly struggles with balancing her life between two cultures, not too far, another struggles to just be accepted by her new country. 

Rand Hussein has her own challenges. Her family moved here from Iraq just four months ago, and she is already in love with the United States. But this country did not love her so easily at first.

 “Some people don’t like me because I’m Arabic,” says Rand, who is energetic and wears a big smile.

She says that some students just misunderstand her and that is why they do not like her. But she believes that it will get better with time.

Rand’s best friend, Jenniie, is a fellow refugee. Jennie is from Bosnia and came to the United States as an infant. She moved to Bowling Green four months ago as well and met Rand at Drakes Creek Middle school

Iraqi Rand Hussein, 14, center, laughs with friends Jennie Hujic, 14, originally of Bosnia, right, and Brittany O'Neal, 17, of Bowling Green after school at their apartment complex in Bowling Green, Ky.

Their biggest issue so far has been communication.  Rand still struggles with her English skills and has to ask others for help in finding the right words sometimes. It is hard to make a connection with someone when you cannot understand each other. Today, Rand says that it is getting better.

Rand is in a rush to perfect her English but for now, she has her father. Haydar Hussein, interjects every chance he gets to correct his daughter’s English

Rand Hussein, 14, of Iraq, left, films friend Jennie Hujic, 14, originally of Bosnia while Hujic sings and dances to Hannah Montana at their apartment complex in Bowling Green, Ky.

Haydar speaks English better than anyone else in his family because he took a course in college and as part of his business in Baghdad, he would sometimes speak English with his clients.

The family left Iraq shortly after war started and relocated to the United States with the help of organizations such as the Bowling Green International Center.

Rand had always hoped to come to America one day and so this move was a dream come true. Like many other immigrants, Rand knew about this country through television and had always thought it to be the best. Unfortunately, they are met with reality once they arrive and Susan Rhema knows why.

Susan Rhema is a licensed clinical social worker in Louisville and has spent the past six years providing therapy to refugees and helping them with the acculturation process.

“The hardest thing at the beginning is the shock,” Rhema says. “Once they arrive and realize that life is still difficult, they are very sad.”

She says that refugees’ expectations are often based on the stories they hear about how life is easy in the United States. They do not anticipate how hard the adjustment to a new life will be.

“They are surprised to find that they must face the loss of their language, country and traditions,” she says.

Through her work, Rhema has had plenty of experience with young refugees and immigrants and understands their struggles all too well.

“Being a teenager is difficult no matter where you are,” she says, “so when a child has to acculturate to a new place and be a teenager, I think this must be very difficult.”

Rhema says that these young people are often caught between two worlds. Often, the school system does very little to help with this transition, she says.

“There are many great teachers and counselors that help students but most do not understand the acculturation process or its stresses,” she says. “Some that I work with are not really interested.”

Rhema says that all human beings want to fit in and be connected to others. These young immigrants are losing a lot and just find it difficult to connect anywhere.

 “The goal is for each person to have a good sense of wellbeing as they interact in each culture,” she says.

Edgardo Mansilla, executive director of the American Community Center in Louisville and is a native of Argentina. The center works primarily with refugees and immigrants and caters to all ages.

Mansilla came to this country in his late 30s and even though he never experienced what Yolanda is going through, he had kids of his own who did.

His older son was in middle school when they immigrated to America. A couple of weeks into the school year, his son demanded to eat dinner alone in his room with his own television. He wanted privacy. When Mansilla asked him why, his son replied, “Because everyone in my school does it.”

In dealing with this, Mansilla advises that parents just listen.

“Remember that they are young, keep offering alternatives and be clear about boundaries,” he says.

He also believes that these young people are not provided the help they need because of lack of money. There are no special programs in schools’ to help their transition.  In the meantime, he believes it is up to the families to do the best they can in offering help.

Susan Rhema says that the important thing is to create connections.

“We need to create ways of connecting for the youth and their families and communities,” Rhema says.